Her route into journalism came through City Limits, a co-operatively run listings magazine in London, where she became deputy editor (1988-90), and as film critic for the New Statesman. She is survived by her sons, Ivan and Luther. I didnt understand where they thought all of their encouragement of my schoolwork had been going. Comments have been closed on this article. On the one hand Win encouraged her bright daughter, taking her to the library each week and spending hours together drawing or watching old films. Motherwell is a vivid narrative of disaster, boldly and challengingly conveyed. The main street is called Merry Street, which does not refer to the good humour of the inhabitants but is actually a corruption of Mary Street. Not the least of the strengths of this book is that it gives a picture of the complexities of mother-daughter relationship in Scotland. I stopped going to them, not long into my first year. We ask for your permission before anything is loaded, as they may be using cookies and other technologies. I decided when my Enterprise Allowance money ran out you got it for two years that I should go down south, where the jobs were, just for 18 months or so. Orr, who was born in Motherwell, joined the Guardian in 1990, becoming the first female editor of its Weekend magazine before she was 30. The total change in his character, the full engagement of biker culture, the calculated nastiness and horror, was like a blow. Later when the Orr family is threatened with rehoming to a newly built tower block there is a fierce denunciation of the 1960s high-rise social housing experiment. People like to write about their peoples defiance, not their subservience, so this is a post-industrial story we have not quite heard before, allowing a genuine flushing-out of shame and fear about the whole condition of the British working-class, as it used to be understood. Alexander Chancellor and Julie Burchill were signed up as columnists. University, as far as they were concerned, and just as they had warned, had been a waste of time. [14] Her apology, too, was the subject of criticism. Win and John were furious that Id failed. Orr, who died from cancer at the age of 57, had a long and varied journalistic career at the Guardian, the Independent, and the i newspaper, among others. Writer John Niven was given an early copy and predicted it will be "a huge hit". After Thatcherism, his world would be blown down in broad daylight, and he becomes an almost Hardyesque casualty of the land, someone carrying his trauma and his prejudices as if they were all he had. We want our comments to be a lively and valuable part of our community - a place where readers can debate and engage with the most important local issues. This, they told me again, had been my perennial problem: I always wanted to mix with people Win and John couldnt compete with at the Guides, at the Duke of Edinburghs award scheme. [7] In February 2018, she joined the i newspaper as a regular columnist. The name really means the Well of the Mother of God, and while it hardly competed with Canterbury or even with such Scottish sites as the shrine containing the statue of Our Lady of Haddington at Whitekirk, it may well have been a place of pilgrimage. Hello? Did I not understand what I had done? Me on the settee, switching like a traffic light between tears, attempts at self-justification and fury, aware more than anything else that, unlike a traffic light, I was powerless before the relentless refusal of my parents to allow me to live in the world as the world was, to let me make my mistakes, and maybe even to comfort me when things went awry. But that was fine. Deborah is related to Steve Robert Orr and Robert G Orr as well as 2 additional people. I went to Edinburgh, we two Deborahs went to the pub, and there I fell into conversation with a man dressed in biker leathers. Her mother was traumatised by the war and by the expectations that followed. The central factory was officially called the Lanarkshire, but was always known locally as Colvilles. The hippies were preferable, however, to the Yahs. Book review: Motherwell, by Deborah Orr | The Scotsman Phone: 416-736-2100 Ext: 77024. Fans appreciated her muscular style and voice. She never fully settled, was never fully happy indeed, the core of Motherwell is Wins rage and discontent, her choked-back madness and passive-aggressive sulks. She said instead that she wanted me to push her down to Airdrie town centre in the very rudimentary wheelchair to look around the shops. Comments have been closed on this article. To order a copy go to guardianbookshop.com. After that, well have to decide what to do next.. Wins life had been determined by men. I have just finished Motherwell by Deborah Orr (highly recommended). The comments below have not been moderated. Her always fiercely intelligent point of view," she added. FBI hunt 'armed and dangerous' shooting suspect. There wasnt a happy ending for me and Win, though. Newsquest Media Group Ltd, 1st Floor, Chartist Tower, Upper Dock Street, Newport, Wales, NP20 1DW Registered in England & Wales | 01676637 |. The original suggestion came from Simon Kelner, the editor of the Independent. Christmas 1982 therefore saw me at home, interminably watching telly with John and Win, and my brother David. I was unable to face them, yet full of guilt about it. Publications. Are you sure you want to delete this comment? Data returned from the Piano 'meterActive/meterExpired' callback event. It is only the recent history of the town that interests Orr and we will come to that, but its story stretches back. Expand the Memories and Condolences form. Is climate change killing Australian wine? You must stop seeing this man right away. Orrs father, John, worked in the steel plant, dealing with fiery furnaces and coal-cutting machines. The word which recurs in descriptions of her personality by colleagues in journalism is intimidating, yet in her own eyes she was vulnerable and malformed, a mess of self-doubt and self-loathing. You are worthless. In the 21st century, it's not just urns and gravestones anymore. Projects. Need quiet now please. Maybe later. 'Fearless' journalist Deborah Orr dies aged 57 - BBC News Motherwell is written. I didnt get it. It had been explained to me, early on, that St Andrews was full of posh English people because privately educated kids who didnt get into Oxbridge viewed St Andrews as the next best thing. Within a couple of years of arrival in London I was the proud chatelaine of half a one-bed flat in Brixton. Tim was astounded, and not a little put off. Few natives knew, and fewer outsiders cared, that the town has a history that stretches back into the Middle Ages. People seek what they are used to, like the children of alcoholics marrying alcoholics. If youre lucky. Much later, after the party had long dispersed, after I was in bed, drunk, half asleep, he slipped back in through my unlocked door, took off his trousers, got into the bed, silently fucked me, got up, put on his trousers, then left. Few natives knew, and fewer outsiders cared, that the town has a history that stretches back into the Middle Ages. When it was late enough in the morning I went back to Deborahs, pretended that Id had a nice time and said that something had come up, so I had to get the train back to Motherwell right away. The Dalzell estate, dominated by a grand, Scottish-baronial mansion now divided into flats, is now more accessible now than it used to be. Motherwell shows, chapter and verse, the ravages of individualism, yet it also has the guts to demonstrate how working-class identity may be weaponised for intolerance, and snared by eager bigots into voting for its own dissolution. But I couldnt face telling my parents that St Andrews wasnt right for me, couldnt bear to tell anyone else the bizarre to all of them, I felt sure fact that my parents hated me being at university. It was a world unto itself. Our parents are the making of us from their DNA to their mad ideas about propriety, of not getting above yourself, not being different. 3. If Id been told then that Id never live in Scotland again, Id have assumed that I was conversing with a lunatic. So how did she end up falling into so many of these traps, despite her best efforts? Wins existence, for example, was ordered by the choices of the menfolk. Its not that her town had any sort of monopoly on that, but Motherwells decline, so spitefully speeded by the Thatcher revolution, got under the skin of many families, manacling them to a sense of waste. I learned the old-fashioned lessons from this rape, lessons that place the blame on the victim. In that world, men were never allowed to show emotion, losing your nerve, getting the fears. Deborah Jane Orr (23 September 1962 - 19 October 2019) [1] [better source needed] was a British journalist who worked for The Guardian, The Independent and other publications. We exchanged banter and soul-baring. Together wed had actual, consensual, intense, affectionate sex which for me was a first, and a highly significant commitment. But. This was when I stopped living in a domestic environment where I constantly felt undereducated. Arrangements are under the care of the Miles-Sterling Funeral and Tribute Center, 100 Worcester Road, Sterling.To share a memory or to offer an online condolence, please visit the "Tribute Wall" on this page. Orrs mother, Win, had moved from rural Essex to industrial Scotland when she got married in 1961. We know there are thousands of National readers who want to debate, argue and go back and forth in the comments section of our stories. My protests brought nothing but greater anger. was in Scotland at that time. It's surprising how much a musical selection can affect mourning. I just had to tough it out. It is important that we continue to promote these adverts as our local businesses need as much support as possible during these challenging times. [2], Orr was born on 23 September 1962[3] to Winifred "Win" and John Orr, a factory worker. It helps to regulate the feelings of shame Within the family, Johns expressions of contempt for others got him lots of attention., Orr grew up in an atmosphere of what she calls performative hate. [22], She died of breast cancer in October 2019, aged 57. Deborah Jane Orr, journalist, born 23 September 1962; died 19 October 2019, Editor of the Guardians Weekend magazine who went on to become a trenchant, witty and much admired columnist, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. Comedian and writer Shappi Khorsandi noted there were "so many beautiful tributes to Deborah Orr" on her Twitter timeline on Monday, calling it "a huge loss to journalism, to writing". Id love it. The people of Motherwell were used to being part of something much bigger than themselves, her daughter writes. Win worried about what people thought, Deborah didnt. She also agreed a deal to publish her first book - a memoir, which is due out next year. The best poems for funerals, memorial services., and cards. Orr was born on 23 September 1962 and raised in Motherwell, Scotland, to Winifred "Win" and John Orr, a factory worker. Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, 2023 Guardian News & Media Limited or its affiliated companies. My own father was a butcher, and said he could feel the difference in his takings when the works were on short time. This is an edited extract from Motherwell by Deborah Orr (Weidenfeld and Nicolson, 16.99, and also available as an audiobook). We are no longer accepting comments on this article. Orr tells the story of her vexed relationship with her parents, John and Win, who came as close to fulfilling Larkins famous warning (of parental damage) as a mum and dad ever did. Deborah Orr obituary | Media | The Guardian Jenny Turner Diary: The Deborah Orr I Knew LRB 9 February 2020 Perhaps its just her way of drawing a line. We are lucky at The Herald. Just as Orrs descriptions of her oh-so-average childhood of aunties and holiday trips and hiding behind the sofa when Doctor Who was on threatens to take over she indulges in exciting, insightful riffs on how the personal is all too political. I stopped drinking alcohol. The first female editor of the Guardian'sWeekend magazine by the age of 30, Orr is also a playwright and the co-creator of "Enquirer", commissioned by the National Theatre of Scotland, performed. Orr held an annual Christmas no men allowed party for female friends at their house in Stockwell, south London. If you would like your comment on this piece to be considered for Weekend magazines letters page, please email weekend@theguardian.com, including your name and address (not for publication). He was a part of the social fabric of the town in a way that I never was. Deborah Orrs mother knew all about that, or felt she did. The very name Motherwell was always the butt of facile jokes, especially from English-speaking foreigners or comics invited along to the local Miners Welfare. For maybe a year and a half I concealed the relationship from my parents, who still insisted that I was responsible for remaining in touch with them, because Id been the one to leave the family. You can be mortified or black affronted or given a showing-up, especially over matters of cleaning your house or paying your bills or taking too much drink. Deborah Orr in NJ - Address & Phone Number | Whitepages Orr could be savage, thrawn and irrepressible, but she was also a born writer and a born improver of dull situations. She is survived by her beloved husband of 24 years, Jeffrey . I took the train up to discharge her from the hospital where shed had her operation, the same day my own radiotherapy for breast cancer ended, and spent a week looking after her. She co-created the 2012 play Enquirer, about the paper-to-digital transformation of her beloved profession, which had a successful run for the National Theatre of Scotland at The Hub at Glasgows Pacific Quay. Journalist and broadcaster Mariella Frostrup noted how Orr had been making plans for a future she knew she probably wouldn't see. But I loved it too. Facebook gives people the power to. I dont think that counts as pasta., Well, thats a bit strange, I must say. I didnt need the dour Scots of the NHS to make me feel guilty again. Deborah Orr: 'I was powerless before the relentless refusal of my parents to allow me to live in the world as the world was, to let me make my mistakes.' Photograph: courtesy of Deborah. Please put us down for one of your high-rises and all the clean air up there, one woman wrote. However, the wily Sir William claimed under the laws of chivalry any two contestants had to be on equal footing, so he insisted that the English knight have one eye gouged out before he would meet him in a joust. You can easily go in every day, on the train., But Mum. I explained that the hospice was at the top of a steep hill, that I didnt think I could manage it, that the shops would be closed anyway and that I didnt mind paying for a taxi at all quite the reverse. Brexit was like deciding you are going to cure cancer by giving up membership of your golf club, she opined. Deborah was born in Boston, MA and graduated from Boca Ciega High School. All rights reserved. I would get married, Id have her grandchildren, and Win would be around to help me look after them. Id explain that building a career took time. Deborah Orr Obituary (2020) - Syracuse, NY - Syracuse Post Standard In the writing of it, Deborah found a way to rise out of her sorrows and dependencies, her own difficult loves, and create a masterpiece of self-exploration. She and I would be friends. This makes the book sound like a misery memoir, which it isnt. I dont want to be a teacher., Why not? Her ambitions were stuffed down and denied, and instead of being pleased her daughter could be different, she hated Orr for being a career girl, as this went against the prevailing working-class philosophy: Dont embarrass us all by striving for something different.. I got a job as a typesetter, then a job with a trade magazine for sales directors. It should also be dangled in the faces of one-nation opportunists, for whom working-class communities only become real when they vote Conservative. When it went, so quickly [it] became a town without a purpose. Set in the Lanarkshire countryside south-east of Glasgow, Motherwell at its height made trams, heavy engineering parts, and produced 3m tons of steel every year, employing 14,000 people (more than half the towns adult population), many of them at Ravenscraig, which was targeted through the 80s and closed in 1992. Information and advice to help you cope with the death of someone important to you. Most populous nation: Should India rejoice or panic? I feared her. No! . Youve got a place at Glasgow and at Strathclyde. And what a remarkable book it is impassioned, angry, tender, pathetic, honest to a fault. Will Self's wife Deborah Orr on their very bizarre divorce Id already finished university by the time the miners strike began in 1984. This site is part of Newsquest's audited local newspaper network. In 2018 she joined the i, the newspaper remnant of the now-digital Independent. Orrs father had been seen off six years earlier by oesophageal and liver cancer. It recounts Orr's upbringing in Motherwell, a flinty Scottish town - "I couldn't stand the place, even when it was still in its pomp. The family lived at 18 Clyde Terrace, a timber-clad, typical two-storey dwelling in the middle of others much the same, and she recalls the bureau that stood in the corner of the living room, overseen by her mother, Win, who managed all its papers, all its memories. Housing estates were built on a sort of visionary, infectious hope, drawing on particular memories of bombed-out tenements and overcrowded room-and-kitchens. Is a memoir therapy or revenge? asks Orr. Design by Robert Peacock ", "Why it's right to weigh your words carefully", "They just don't get it - tolerance of Jew-hate set to live on", "The readers' editor on averting accusations of antisemitism", "Will Self at the Edinburgh International Book Festival", "My breast cancer journey is more of a staycation", "For a moment I really thought my husband had won the Booker. Initially, the descriptions of life in the shadow of the Ravenscraig steel mill, which made girders for bridges and power stations, have a macabre beauty. Get some decent experience for my CV and, hopefully, some money. To view this content choose accept and continue. For Motherwell, much of the civic pride was aroused by its great steel works. The NHS has been plunged into a financial and staffing crisis. ON the road out of Hamilton there used to be signs which indicated Motherwell and Beyond. The town was originally named Modryval and only became Motherwell in the 18th century. She was best-known for her often-radical but inspirational columns in The Guardian and The Independent and was editor of the Guardians Weekend magazine from 1993-98. This building became a news story in itself after a large chunk of masonry fell from its facade to the ground. 'Fearless' journalist Deborah Orr dies aged 57 - BBC News Our prison service is a series of riots waiting to happen. And more recently: Brexit is like deciding you are going to cure cancer by giving up membership of your golf club., In the offices of The Guardian and The Independent, she knew how to put or keep male colleagues in their place. [19], In 2010, she discovered she had breast cancer and was treated for it, which included a mastectomy. That was everything to Win., She had shown promise as an artist, though destroyed her work old nonsense, taking up space. She clung on to her things, stuffing them into the bureau, but also to her disappointments, as if only they could define her, keep her voice central to the life of the family, cancelling any youthful or novel encroachments. Your father and I forbid you, and thats that.. I once saw some letters sent to David Gibson, Glasgows messianic early 1960s housing convenor he took seven sugars in his tea, his wife said which came from citizens desperate to escape the slums. Read about our approach to external linking. W hen Deborah Orr died, in October, I hadn't seen her for more than 16 years. I was terrified of getting into a situation where I was alone in my room with a man, because of things that had happened early on at St Andrews. She recalls her delight when years later she attended the opening of the Tate Modern in London and discovered that the black girders had been made in the Lanarkshire steel works. 2. Perhaps best known for her pithy outspokenness in the Guardian, Orr had the kind of successful career that many parents would have celebrated but this was not the case for Orr whose constantly belittling mother, Win, often treated her like a subservient companion rather than a loved child or autonomous human being. Everyone wore bottle-thick NHS glasses, cumbersome hearing aids and callipers. Yet, weirdly, even though these people were undoubtedly far more sophisticated than I was, a lot of them also seemed stupid. Be the first to post a memory or condolences. My mother had been a brilliant housewife, skilled, dedicated, unwavering. But is this all there was to life, the washing-up and Hoovering? When he leaned in to kiss me, that was fine. Win was so glad to be outside again, so glad to see the sky and the water and the tea room. All was well. In the morning, when Tim had gone for a wee, Win slipped into the spare room and said arrangements would have to change because John had been up all night, vomiting at the idea of his daughter being in bed with a man under his roof. His wife is a serious journalist for left-of-centre publications. Motherwellis written at such a pitch of intensity you sometimes have to put it down just to get your breath back. Most stressful was the discovery that university and me simply didnt get along. [10], Orr wrote, in 2017, "Homeless people are stuck in the streets once again. By [3], Orr worked as deputy editor for City Limits magazine, a workers' cooperative. It shouldnt really matter, but it does, very deeply, in the Orr scheme of things. Orr left a dull, ordinary, working-class life to become a star columnist, journalist and editor; one of Londons metropolitan elite. And I wanted to. Her bravado was a camouflage for insecurity. On the day they blew Ravenscraig down, Deborah was there with her father, mother and brother David. There was more to it than the economy. Motherwellian sounds merely odd. Later on she mentions he found out his parents were both famous actors and hints strongly that Crispin was born out of rape or some impropriety. But if this seems Dickensian, or out of a Thomas Hardy novel, Orr is unabashed. Fans appreciated her muscular style and voice. There he got into a dispute with one Sir Piers Courtenay, which ended up with a challenge being issued and accepted. She recalls being belted at school, being bullied in the playground by having half-bricks hurled at her and being compelled to go into the town centre wearing a badge marked cheat after her mother had found her peeping at the wrong squares in scrabble. Decent 19th century housing is flattened in a fake spirit of do-gooding modernism, and terrible high-rise flats are constructed. Orr had a loyal following as a columnist at the Independent (1999-2009), then back at the Guardian until its reshaping as a tabloid in 2018, and finally at the i newspaper. MOTHERWELL: A GIRLHOOD by Deborah Orr (Weidenfeld 16.99, 304 pp). Our prison service is a series of riots waiting to happen. I think she felt that I was throwing money at her, as if she was a problem. The people of Motherwell were used to being part of something much, much bigger than themselves. Ive had anxiety dreams about squandering my university years for all of my life since then until 2016, when they stopped. She had an intensity that less assured people and even editors found intimidating: some were fearful of taking her calls. It was great to be away from home, if a bit discombobulating. Then I got pregnant and had an NHS abortion on my own, tended to by disapproving Edinburgh hospital staff who took it upon themselves to provide moral education along with medical services. I climbed on to the overnight coach to London, and found a squat to live in. They had two sons but separated in 2015 before an acrimonious divorce was completed in 2017. It reaches wisdom, of a kind, and I felt that much sorrier that the author didnt live to see its publication. Motherwell was also a microcosm of Scotland, and Deborah Orr displays the same duality of judgment towards Motherwell as towards Scotland as a whole. When it went, so quickly, Motherwell became a town without a purpose. "[11], On 19 October 2011, an article by Orr stated that the trade for Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit in exchange for over 1,000 Palestinian prisoners "tacitly acknowledges what so many Zionists believe: that the lives of the chosen are of hugely greater consequence than those of their unfortunate neighbours. She was born in Boston, the daughter of Richard J. and Mary E. (Watson) McCluskey and had lived in Everett before moving to Leominster last year.She leaves her loving daughter, Ruth Orr and her husband, John Gualtieri of Leominster and Melissa Orr and her husband, Joshua Wallace of Fitchburg; her grandchildren, Anthony, Isabella, Keira, Jonathan, Giovanni, Isaiah and Lylah; her fianc Steve Reddick of Hyde Park; her brothers, Stephen and Karl McCluskey; her sisters, Marilyn and Margaret McCluskey; and nieces and nephews. Weve got the most informed readers in Scotland, asking each other the big questions about the future of our country. Deborah Orr Biography, Age, Height, Husband, Net Worth, Family But there are miracles too in the world of hard knocks, and Orr, by a kind of genius, finds the kernel of the towns former existence, and locates the mother in its name. The journalist Deborah Orr, who has died aged 57 after suffering from cancer, was a strikingly original character, and made an impression in whatever she did. When Win wasnt managing, with some dark genius, to deliver a silent treatment over the phone she would usually ask me if Id got a boyfriend yet, very brightly, and Id always say no. Such was the small-mindedness and xenophobia, Orrs parents died without passports, barely venturing beyond Lanarkshire, in time or space. [2], Last edited on 16 December 2022, at 22:36, "Award-winning columnist Deborah Orr dies aged 57", "A week ago, my mother died. Deborah Orr's raw account of escaping her stifling childhood